Some time has passed since I have spent any amount of time giving much thought to this blog. I’ve posted a few things but the reality is there have been time’s when I didn’t look at it for months, let alone post something on it. So what happened?
My first thought was reality happened. It has a habit of doing that you know. People lose jobs. They get sick. Maybe change careers. Relationships break up. You fight with your kids/parents/spouse/best-friend/significant-other. You know, reality. Someone Dies. You know, REALITY.
For me, Dad died.
And I wasn’t ready for him to go. There was so much more we could have done together. Should have done together. I wanted him to see my new adventure succeed. I wanted him to be proud of me……..
There, I said it. I wanted him to be proud of me. What son doesn’t want this.
I had followed Dad into real estate. He helped me get established as a realtor, set me up to be the manager and then made Ray and I a sweet deal to buy the company. I got to know Dad a lot better during this time and I really enjoyed the chance to do this. Dad wasn’t a big talker but when I went to him for advice, his focus was always on what would be best for me and my family.
So this brings me back to where I wanted him to be proud of me.
What I really should be talking about here isn’t whether or not a father was proud of his son but one of expectations. I know dad loved me and believed in me. He had expectations for me as he did for all of his family.
What I seemed to miss was his expectation for me was to do what was in my heart and for me to do the very best I could at what ever that would be.
Dad only ever wrote me one letter. I was away in Edmonton at Bible School. I still have it. It wasn’t as clear to me then as it is now, but it was clear Dad would be proud of what ever I did.
Whether it was helping a family buy their first home, Manage a real estate office, drive a dump truck or write a blog post. It did not matter. As long as it was what I loved to do, done to the best of my ability, done with passion and purpose and it applied this truth.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
My expectations were what was wrong. I had false expectations there was any expectation at all other than for me to be the best I could be. To live with passion and purpose a life utilizing my specific personality, skills and gifting. Yours is different.
Living life with passion and purpose is really what we have been designed to do. Our realities can get in the way. Sometimes they wake us up. My experience of losing Dad and the resulting impact has helped me to better recognize what this looks like at this stage of life. My passion has always been visible to me but my expectations were based on a false reality that changed. It became a blind spot.
Today, I am finishing a post that was started 3 years ago. (I checked the history. It is exactly 3 years to the day!) A lot has changed. My focus has changed and I have a plan moving forward. Maybe you too have a plan. Maybe you have gone through some ‘Reality’ in your journey. No matter what happened or where you are in life, as human beings, we have an idea of what our ideal reality looks like. Maybe, you have a dream! I hope you do.
Maybe an alternate reality is currently in place. For me and maybe you, a question needs to be asked. A very important question if we truly desire our reality do be different.
Are you ready for the question? Here it is:
Who do I need to become to change my current situation into my future ideal reality?